I can’t help falling in love…

10 Dec 2010 3 Comments

by LoveC in Edwin Dar

With YOU! Yes YOU! (MR TAY ZHI KAI)

Suddenly, it seems all so perfect…

Really time flies!! I can’t believe we are going to be spending the 3rd Xmas together already! Are we that old? Have we been together for that long?

(Hunz do you still remember the time we took these pictures?)

Despite all the turmoils and bumps and being together for that long, our love for each other just gets stronger and we love each other to bits!

You know it sometimes scares me hell!

Why?

Many reasons!

Sometimes it’s because of bad dreams. Like you know the ones I’d told you especially those that I suddenly jolt up and naturally I’ll turn over to see and check that you’re ok and it’s just a stupid dream. Like no there’re no bruises on you, yes! You’re still in 1 good piece and most importantly there’s no blood or traces of blood on you.

Sometimes, I fear that I’ll lose you to some freak accident, explains why I’d rather travel alone to your place even when you always insist you come pick me, while you rest safely, comfortably and wait eagerly for me!

Sometimes, I fear that I’ll get into some freak accident and never be able to see you again!

Dar, do you know how scary it is to not be able to see your love ones for 1 last time before you die?

It happened to me once (no I did not die but felt like I had a date with Death) and really scared the shit out of me! Do you still remember I told you about that overdose case of mine many donkey years back and then I went into a state where I felt I was trap in a very very long dream for days and can’t seem to differentiate reality and dream anymore? Where I didn’t recognize my parents especially my dad and I longed to see my baby brother and I was frantically trying to find myself a phone to call my partner just to tell him that I’ll be fine, wait for me to return no matter what I’d become? Yes, I fear of it now. I fear that I may overdose my sleeping pills one day ( u know how blur I can be and sometimes taking extra dosages of medication, happened couple of times liao) and never be able to wake up and see your face, your smile, hear your voice or even argue with you and see you annoyed?!

Seeing you sleep tonight just made my tummy flutter, especially when you were having a nightmare and how you instantly calmed down when I patted and soothed you.

It really feels like honeymoon period now. Like I’ve just once again fallen madly and foolishly in love again. You still give me the butterflies in my stomach and make my skin tingle everytime u touch me though.

Will we be like this forever or will it just keep getting better? Because it seriously is getting better and I can feel that we’ll just keep getting better. You know sometimes I really wish that Cain wouldn’t be right? For I don’t wana close my eyes before you. I don’t want to go on alone without you. And definitely do not want to leave you alone behind with our family. ( the thought and this very thought cringes my stomach everytime without fail)

I broke the news to my mum this evening about your proposal. Really happy that I did. You know how I don’t like to talk about marriage and my future plans to my parents, but I was surprised I did it this evening.

You know now there’s no turning back for me, you or us!

I don’t know when you’ll read this but I was serious when I’d said your Xmas present this year was ME! (maybe I’ll tie a hugeass ribbon and wrap myself up with gift wrappers just for the laughs of it) hope you’d like your advance pre Xmas present!

P.s I still do not know what to get for you… Most prolly I’ll write you an I.O.U?! Lolol.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Love C.